


Problems

by DallonWho



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 17:46:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13346304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DallonWho/pseuds/DallonWho
Summary: “You’re freaking Bren and Jon out, you freak.”Ryan throws a bottlecap at Spencer’s head where he’s sitting across the couch, but inside he’s panicking. “Howso?” He asks, hoping his underlying panic attack isn’t too obvious.Spencer leans back into the couch. “Apparently you’re being a little girl, which is just offensive to little girls quite frankly.”





	Problems

"Let me get this straight."

"Go ahead."

"You."

"Me."

"Want to kiss Spencer."

"Preferably multiple times, yes."

Jon blinked at his friend from over the table where they met for lunch. "What's the problem then?" He asks slowly, as if he thought Ryan was an idiot. Which he didn't. Most of the time.

Ryan huffed. "That he's a member of the band. That we've been best friends for ages." He said as if it were obvious. "I'm not going to risk our dynamic or whatever just so I could- I don't know. Whatever." He brings his coffee up to his mouth and sips; he’s not pouting. He’s not

“You’re pouting.” Jon’s eyebrows furrow together. “I just- look. I’m not saying it would be easy, but there’s not- he’s into you, Ryan.“ He insists, and Ryan sighs into his coffee. Spencer isn’t into him. They’re best friends, they know each other better than anyone. Of course that could come off as attraction but it’s not it’s just. It’s just Spencer. Spencer’s kind and patient and stern in all the ways Ryan’s always needed.

It isn’t love. Not in the way he wants.

At the prolonged silence, Jon pushes Ryan’s cup back to the table; making him let go of the handle to grasp his hand. “Stop mentally putting yourself down.”

“I’m not-“

“I’ve known you a decade.” Jon smirks. “The language of Ross isn’t an easy one, but I’ve picked up a tip or two.” He squeezes Ryan’s hand before letting go; picking up his own cup. “Maybe if you, I don’t know, talked to Spence…” He quirks his eyebrow, sipping his tea. “You two would actually get somewhere instead of pining like ten year olds.” He laughs when Ryan throws a spoon at him.

-

“Just fuck him, dude.”

“Why did I come to you for relationship advice?”

Brendon snorts, closing the door behind them as they join the dogs on the lawn. “Because I’m happily married in a successful relationship and you can’t even get Spencer to hold your hand.” He lets out an oof sound as he sits down next to Ryan on the edge of the pool. “And Jon’s right.” Brendon says, rolling up his pants to dip his feet in the water. “Spencer would fall on his sword for you. Fuck, he has.” 

Ryan sighs before flopping onto his back. “You two make it sound like Spencer’s two seconds away from fucking me.” He rolls his eyes. “And that’s just not- he’s Spencer.” He stresses. “if he likes a girl he’ll ask out a girl. He won’t be a pussy about it.”

“Are you a girl?” Brendon challenges, quirking an eyebrow.

Ryan rolls his eyes, punches his leg. “No.”

“Well then I guess you don’t know how Spencer is when he likes a guy, then.” Brendon says simply before he stands up, pulling his shirt over his head. “Come on, swim with me.”

Ryan watches Brendon kick off his jeans and dive into the water in his underwear, and as he does the same he can’t help but wonder how Spencer is when he likes a guy.

-

“You’re freaking Bren and Jon out, you freak.”

Ryan throws a bottlecap at Spencer’s head where he’s sitting across the couch, but inside he’s panicking. “Howso?” He asks, hoping his underlying panic attack isn’t too obvious.

Spencer leans back into the couch. “Apparently you’re being a little girl, which is just offensive to little girls quite frankly.” He grins lazily, and Ryan hates how his stomach does flips. It didn’t used to be like this. It used to just be Spencer and Ryan, not Spencer and Ryan and Feelings.

“I am not.” Ryan frowns. He puts his drink on the table next to their discarded.

Spencer snorts. “Now I know they’re telling the truth.” He turns his body so Ryan has his full attention; so Ryan knows he has his full attention. “Since when are you not talking to me about things, Ry?” It’s not an attack, he’s not hurt, he’s just worried.

And somehow Ryan feels even worse.

“Spence, c’mon, that’s not- it’s not your fault.” He tries to assure him, but he winces when he hears how he says it.

“My fault?” He parrots back. “Well I’m glad to know I’m the problem.” Fuck.

“You’re not a problem-“

“You literally just said-“

“Spencer I’m the problem.”

Suddenly the television is the only sound in the room. Ryan can’t make eye contact, but he can feel Spencer’s eyes burrowing into his face.

Spencer shifts closer to him on the couch, their knees touch, and Ryan wants to run. He’s pretty sure his legs wouldn’t let him.

“No secrets.” He says. “We’re too fucking old for secrets Ryan, and we’re sure as fuck too old to be keeping secrets from each other.” And Ryan knows he’s right.

Ryan finally looks at him, and he doesn’t want to see that sort of hurt and sadness on his best friend’s face ever again.

His fists ball into his pants. “Okay but just. Remember you asked, okay?” 

And before Spencer can ask what the hell he means, Ryan’s kissing him.

It’s awkward; Ryan’s mouth pressed to the tight line of Spencer’s worried, pursed mouth. He wants to pull away immediately, apologize to his lifelong best friend and hope he doesn’t change his number. Or his address. Hell, maybe even his name. Spencer looks like he could be a David, or a Richard. Maybe even a Daniel. 

He’s so in his head he doesn’t realize Spencer has opened his mouth and is actively kissing him back until Spencer’s hands are grasping his neck and tugging him closer.

Ryan’s whole body twitches when he realizes, making the kiss break apart. But Spencer doesn’t let him pull back.

Spencer breathes heavily, eyes scanning all over Ryan’s face. “Are you fucking with me?” He asks, breathless. “Because if you’re fucking with me I’ll actually kill you.”

Ryan swallows hard. “I- no, never.” He would shake his head if Spencer wasn’t holding him oh my god Spencer is holding him.

Spencer’s the one who leans in this time, and Ryan doesn’t need much convincing to kiss him back. Years of drumming have made his fingers rough; nice against Ryan’s skin.

“Spence,” Ryan says into his mouth, between kisses. “You’re kinda-“ Spencer cuts him off with more kisses, and Ryan wouldn’t complain normally, but now he’s got the chance to explain himself and he needs to before he loses his nerve.

He pushes gently at Spencer’s chest and his best friend pouts, but keeps his hands on Ryan. “What?” He asks, frowning.

Ryan’s finger comes up to poke Spencer’s bottom lip. “Stop pouting you puppy, I need to talk to you.” His own eyebrows knit together, desperately trying not to lose his nerve while Spencer just. Looks at him.

“How do you feel about me?” Ryan asks, voice small. “Because you’re kind of…it. For me. I think.” He frowns. “You’re- you’re Spencer. You’re not some fucking guy in a club, you’re Spencer.”

“How do I feel about you?” Spencer asks, fingers thrumming against skin. “Fucking- Ryan. Come on. There’s no way you didn’t- Everyone knows how I feel about you. Can’t think of anyone who doesn’t.”

He’s not blushing. When Spencer says he blushed later, he didn’t, and he’s taking that to the grave.

“Why didn’t I, then?” He asks. “You’re supposed to be the practical one of the two of us.” Ryan quips, and Spencer sighs.

“Because maybe you make me stupid.” He suggests, and Ryan doesn’t think twice before kissing him again.

And maybe Ryan owes Jon and Brendon. Just a little bit.


End file.
